Caring for elderly Parents

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Richard
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 3:36 pm

Caring for elderly Parents

Postby Richard » Tue Jan 09, 2018 10:15 pm

This is a difficult, time-consuming and exhausting task in itself.
But everything can go downhill 'big-time', when helping your mum or dad, if a sibling objects to the way you are asisting them, as their 'carer' or similar.
Disputes may or not involve money but care is rarely 'free', (despite the best efforts of the NHS), if a parent has anything much in the way of basic savings.
A normally reasonable brother or sister can become emotional and feel distraught at seeing a parent suddenly looking frail and becoming forgetful, especially if they have not been home for a few months or more. Blaming the one who is looking after them, anger can spill over and get out of hand.
An elderly parent can be confused and so we look at all possible causes.
Do they have enough to drink and eat and are they warm at home, do they have a UTI (urinary tract infection) causing incontinence or is constipation causing confusion or are they really at the edge of dementia (not an easy situation to diagnose at the best of times).

We are now an atomised society, often living and working many miles from the family home.
Other cultures, mainly Hindu and Moslem, traditionally cared for their parents and elderly relatives in the home but this may be changing now owing to pressures of modern life.
Outside meals may be delivered by strangers and the carers too have little time to spend on serving food as well as washing and changing 'pads' etcetera.
If elderly relatives can't manage at home and are 'struggling' we may eventually have to consider better care options.
Having spoken to many friends, family members and neighbours, the above frustrations are all to common a shared experience and something that we are ill-prepared for.

Old age comes at a bad time, when we are vulnerable and is certainly not for 'sissies'.

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