HOWE Family WW2 RAF

[PaulHowe]

Hello from Canada! Trying to find a way to identify my 'natural' Dad who was in the British Commonwealth Air Training Programme here at Port Albert, Ontario in 1943. My Mom was Evelyn Melva Munday and my Dad was an RAF trainee, ROBERT HOWE. According to my late uncle, he had a couple of kids at home - presume in Hastings. They would be my half-siblings. My Dad would be 90 or so if he were still alive. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Thanks loads!

[Richard]

Hi Paul,
Not sure exactly what the background is here, but something similar frequently happened in wartime Britain, in those days.
At first glance, from somebody not familiar, it seems very complicated, but I believe the situation can be explained as follows:
In times of War a man finds a new 'wife' in a foreign country and has children, whilst his original 'wife' (possibly with child(ren) from that marriage) either obtains a divorce and 're-marries' and has more children, to her second husband, who then become 'half-siblings' (to the original parent's children) whilst the children of the original marriage (yourself) wonder if your father had any other children, from the former marriage, whom you now wish to make contact with.

Let me give an example from my family:

My Mother's brother had a wife in England and they had a child, but during the War he met another woman, whom he had further children with.
The original wife remarried to another husband and had more children (usually only after obtaining an official divorce) and one of the children, from the father's second relationship, now wishes to make contact with the child(ren) of the second marriage of the original mother.

We can possibly trace this further, if you know more details of the first wife of your father, however I need to know if you have any more information as it is a bit difficult to proceed on the rather little information you have given.

[thesolsean]

Unfortunately, I have no more information.... And I cannot search through military records because I cannot prove kinship for any "R. Howe". I need to find which one served in Canada in 1943-44. Luck will likely play a big role! Trying to post a photo. No luck! ;(

[thesolsean]

This photo shows Bob Howe and his colleagues in 1944.

[Richard]

Paul hello,

Perhaps I am being lazy.
I am sure it is possible to find records relating to your family,
Gerry or Derek are normally good at this sort of thing.
It probably means searching Mormon LDS records or Births Deaths and Marriages somewhere, I will look at familysearch.org when I get chance.

Richard

[thesolsean]

Would sure appreciate any help! The Sinclair in the photo was actually a 'Don' Sinclair, who was in Bury, St. Edmunds, until his death in the last two years. It is said that he kept in touch with his buddies in the photo. I started my search too late! This was not a matter my dear Mom was able to talk about, so I waited until she had passed on to start looking. I would really like to become acquainted with my half-siblings - before we too, have all passed on....

[Richard]

also it is a bit difficult, Paul, because personal information is involved and sometimes people don't want to discuss it.
Did you keep in touch with your 'natural' mother or did she die young ?
Same for your 'natural' father'
Did you know your mother's maiden name?

Did your father enlist as a military trainee in Canada for any particular reason, perhaps he was escaping from a relationship in England at the time?

You haven't given a story of any of the circumstances, which, as I say can sound intrusive but are all part of the picture.

[Richard]

basically you can certainly prove 'kinship' by obtaining your birth certificate which will show who your mother (her maiden surname) and father were and their address, with your 'natural' father's occupation.

sorry, just realised you already gave your mother's maiden name.

[thesolsean]

Bob Howe came here as part of the British Commonwealth Air Training Programme as an instructor with the RAF, 1943-44. He met my mother socially, and she became pregnant with me by him. He returned England. Was actually said to be married at that time in 43/44 with two kids. She married an RCAF sergeant the next year. I have lived with them, as his son, my full life until their deaths a few years back. I have never queried the matter of my natural/birth father until now - my Mom could not discuss it. Bore the guilt of it all of her life it seems. They both hid it fully.

My birth reg'n does give Robert Howe, RAF etc as my father. There is no middle initial. There are too many R. Howe's from RAF to find out which one. There is no death record that I can find. If I could find out which Flt Sgt R. Howe worked in Canada in the BCATP, that would/should be him. Cannot seem to get over that hurdle!

[Richard]

Hi Paul,
This all sounds fairly familiar as something quite similar happened in my own family, where (conversley) the original child of the original relationship wanted to contact the second child, born to another woman outside first wedlock.
You indicate your father had a brother (now deceased) who told you of the half-siblings, but clearly not in any great detail.

The original half-siblings (to yourself), may have been born/brought up in Hastings.
We know who the parents were, but these 'children' may have moved away and are likely to be married with grown up 'children' of their own by now.

I can see why it is so difficult because the older generation would almost certainly have wanted to draw a veil over the matter, whereas the latest 'children' (the only relatives still alive now) would be much more interested and open-minded as to learning details of their family history.

I am certain those 'lost' relatives can be traced somehow, but do not have the resources at my disposal yet.
Thank you for sharing your experience of just how complicated it can be to trace your family history.